Exvangelical Meditation: A Path Forward

I wanted to give my readers an update: Writing has slowed down here at Surviving the Spirit, but it isn’t because I’m taking a break. It’s because I’ve been busy writing an exvangelical memoir, in which I rework much of what I’ve written here while both expanding existing content and writing entirely new material. With all of the content that I’ve written toward my own story, I’m taking the advice of those who think it belongs in a volume of its own.

Though it’s slowed down my output here, I’m proud of the progress I’ve made on my memoir. Exploring my past through the lens of my always evolving present has put me in a reflective state in which I can be honest and vulnerable, while also forgiving and patient with both myself and others. Writing it continues to be a very healing experience, and I hope that one day it will encourage readers in their own journey.

All this to say: In these frightening times, I hope that you have nevertheless found a path forward in your self care that has aided you in your own healing. You deserve nothing less.

I’ve got to he honest: With SCOTUS poised to continue their agenda to turn our country into a conservative theocracy, I’m not sure where to go from here. If the pillars of government continue to erode the establishment clause and rights to privacy (especially if they do so as quickly as they are right now), then our government (both state and federal) will also be inflicting religious trauma on its citizens. If it keeps going in this direction, I fear that the all knowing, ever watching presence of the evangelical Christian deity will become embodied by a surveillance state more robust than it is now. And that’s saying something, given the amount of surveillance women and minorities already endure. Which means that the “state” (meaning government) will be a perpetrator of religious trauma. I hope this doesn’t make it harder to make religious trauma a diagnosable condition, which has always been my primary objective as an activist — but if it does, something tells me that it’s by intelligent design (sorry).

Exvangelicals are in dialogue over our course of action, and I will keep you in the loop. It has been very triggering to see the agendas perpetuated from my own past pulpits finally come to fruition, and I’ve been struggling to gather any measured response about it, while also wanting to express both outrage and all my support toward the ones who have so far been targeted. It is all a work in progress, but I am still here if you need to process or just need resources or an ear.

Just know this: I love you, and I’m not going anywhere. My goal hasn’t changed: To advocate for making religious trauma a diagnosable condition — which we will need now more than ever if the Supreme Court continues to stabilize the convervative evangelical agenda. I continue to fight for this goal, and I will continue to remind you that you are loved and worthy of love just the way you are.

Be kind to yourselves and to each other.

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