Essays, reflections, and stories about my own experience in the Evangelical Church, both before and after leaving it.
Read Part Four -- "An Exiled Christian and a Genderqueer Walk Into a Bar" here. It is 2010. I am 29 years old and living in Mount Vernon, Washington where, for the last eighteen months or so, I've been working through my shit with gloriously backbreaking manual labor on a farm.And I think I'm falling …
Read Part 3 — “Qualm of Conscience” here. It is a chilly night in Auke Bay, Alaska – December of 2007. Chance and I are staying toasty by the electric fire stove, the shadows of which dance all about this wide space around us filled with rows of books, exotic plants I'm responsible for watering, …
Read Part 2 -- "Only Humans" here. It is February of 2006. I'm living in Juneau, Alaska – and I sit in anxious anticipation of the conversation that I'm about to have with Earl, my friend and pastor of the last few years. He's currently on the phone in the other room, and our chat …
Read Part 1 -- "Sea of Sin" here. It is fall of 1998. We've moved again – we do that quite a bit in my family, due to Dad's music minister job. I'm not sure if it is the nature of all ministers to move their family around so much, or if it is just …
It is 1994, and I am thirteen years old. My family is living in Mill Valley, California, where my father is attending Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary. It's an island of conservative evangelicalism surrounded by a sea of sin. San Francisco is just across the bridge, and we are very careful when we venture out …
I worked in various teenage residential treatment facilities for many years, under many different titles – case manager, behavioral health associate, mental health technician, residential counselor, etc. I never really cared what my handle was – I was there to be an advocate for kids who were in these facilities primarily because they hadn't had …
Continue reading My Story: What God and the Pope Talk About – A Tale of Broken Rules
As a preacher's kid, we are instructed that our first order of business is to worship and devote our lives completely to God. When you are very young, being told to worship God is, admittedly, an abstract idea. It's like being shown a picture of George Lucas and having it explained to you that this …
“If I'm going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice.” – The Joker It's taken me a long, long journey into healing and a brave, unexpected confession from someone dear to me to realize that it is time to tell this particular chapter in my story. Because it is not just …
Continue reading My Story: The Vanishing Act – A Tale of an Exvangelical’s Monster
I have worked with young children for far too long to not learn from their example and sometimes stand in awe of the wisdom found in their innocence. By observing them, I've come to some conclusions about the way humans work. I believe that people are inherently born with a sense of not only self-worth, …
I feel compelled to make clear that what follows is a personal story about Religious Trauma Syndrome in action. It crescendos with a 15-year old me in a fetal position, rocking back and forth under a tree as I sob for God's mercy. It is an epic night for a anxiety attack: The winds howl …
Surviving the Spirit 